When you move to Paris, your friends and family will tell you what an incredible experience this will be, how you’ll learn so much, that you’ll carry these memories with you for the rest of your life. And they’re right. But what you’ll also carry with you for the rest of your life is an army of new germs that you’ll spend the next several months, and likely years, battling to little avail. Little, that is, but a few new stories and a few new antibodies, if you’re lucky.
So here I find myself sick for the third time in my short tenure in Paris. In July no less, a fact I find highly undignifying, particularly for someone who prior to this year had not so much as sneezed in a decade, and I blame it on the Parisian Spring, which has technically ended but continues to cling on like a kitten to a t-shirt. Or so I’m told. But no matter, I have food in the fridge, pharmaceutical aid in the cabinet, and friends who’ll force me to the doctor if needed. So go on then, Monsieur Le Rhume. Let’s get this over with.
A few related tips for all those pondering a future move to France:
- Find the nearest pharmacy immediately upon arrival. Buy a box of Actifed.
- Ask that pharmacy which doctor’s office they recommend. Google map it immediately.
- Find a grocery store and immediately stock your pantry. Keep at least a spare bag of ramen on hands at all times. Do not eat that ramen. It is for medical emergencies only.
- Find a friend. Ask them if they mind 3 am phone calls. Please note to your new friend that these phone calls are not for fun.
- Please note that the French version of 911 for medical emergencies is 15. They do not speak English. If you want the English-speaking version, be sure to have your medical emergency before 11 pm.
- Oscillococcinum will not make your cold go away faster. But it will make you happier.
- Old episodes of Quantum Leap will also make you happier. They can be found on hulu.com without a subscription.
So there you have it. Seven suggestions for a somewhat literal survival in France. Now where’s my Actifed? The ramen’s ready and Quantum Leap is about to begin.
La Vie en Toes 